I began the Atkins Lifetime Nutritional Approach in January. I’m fully indoctrinated and know all of the mantras by heart. (“It’s not a DIE-it, it’s a LIVE-it.” “Bread is the enemy.” “When in doubt, order the bacon.”) According to the recent media blitz Atkins has reached nearly cult-like status. But friends and family need not worry about my well-being. I have adopted this nutritional approach with the same level-headed forethought as all my previous diets (The Peanut butter & Jelly Sandwich Diet, The Pizza Diet, The Sleeping Diet. etc…)
It’s going well. I honestly don't miss the carbs. Pasta, bread, sweets, potatoes, fries, home fries, hash browns, toast, chips...that stuff is dead to me now. It doesn't even turn my head. I do miss mocha lattes though. A typical Starbucks Grande mocha latte has about 30 grams of carbs (sweetened syrup, milk, etc) I have recently found a way to mimic them at home with soymilk and sweet-n-low. I can make a latte (not mocha...yet) for about 5 grams of carb.
Having said that, I had a setback last week. When I weighed myself on Monday (March 8) I hadn't lost even a single pound. I had been on a tear of 4.5 pounds per week for more than a month, then suddenly nothing! I was devastated. But I calmly reviewed my diary and found the culprit. Rum & Diet cokes. Two or three of them...four nights in a row. I had gotten so cocky and proud that I had avoided beer for eight weeks that I overindulged on liqueur. I had read somewhere that hard liqueur was more Atkins friendly than beer. I guess I shouldn't have picked one made from distilled SUGAR! Moron.
Anyhow, I'm back on track now, and except for a shot or two of Baily's in my coffee this afternoon, I am back on the wagon (Baily's is okay, isn't it? DOH!) Okay, really, that's it, I'm clean from this moment forward. Oh wait, I still have half a cup..........Okay starting NOW!
The next day, I got really good news though. I had another blood test. And the results were staggering compared to two months ago. I don't know if you'll recognize numbers, but my total cholesterol went from 220 to 180. According to the report I received, normal is 160-210. Other chemistry values followed the same pattern. According to my blood, I'm as healthy as a granola crunching Vegan organic farmer. And yet I consume more than a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon every week. Go figure.
In addition, my clothes are turning into clown costumes. There are two pair of pants that I should not wear in public, and for an entirely different reason than before. I'm getting lots of compliments. Which is a mixed blessing of course. At 280 pounds, I'm still considered "grossly obese" by even the most generous health charts. Better than "morbidly obese", I grant you, but hardly worthy of catcalls and whistles. I'm happy about losing an adverb though.